At a Santa Fe gas station:
"We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container. "
In a New York restaurant:
"Customers who consider our waitresses uncivil ought to see the
manager. "
On the wall of a Baltimore estate:
"Trespassers will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.
--Sisters of Mercy"
On a long-established New Mexico dry cleaners:
"38 Years on the same spot. "
In a Los Angeles dance hall:
"Good clean dancing every night but Sunday. "
In a Florida maternity ward:
"No children allowed. "
In a New York drugstore:
"We dispense with accuracy. "
In the offices of a loan company:
"Ask about our plans for owning your home. "
In a New York medical building:
"Mental Health Prevention Center"
On a New York convalescent home:
"For the sick and tired of the Episcopal Church. "
On a Maine shop:
"Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible prices, and
workmanship. "
At a number of military bases:
"Restricted to unauthorized personnel. "
On a display of "I love you only" Valentine cards:
"Now available in multi-packs. "
In the window of a Kentucky appliance store:
"Don`t kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work. "
In a funeral parlor:
"Ask about our layaway plan. "
In a clothing store:
"Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks. "
In a Tacoma, Washington men`s clothing store:
"15 Men`s wool suits, $10. They won`t last an hour! "
On a shopping mall marquee:
"Archery Tournament -- Ears pierced"
Outside a country shop:
"We buy junk and sell antiques. "
In the window of an Oregon store:
"Why go elsewhere and be cheated when you can come here? "
In a Maine restaurant:
"Open 7 days a week and weekends. "
On a radiator repair garage:
"Best place to take a leak. "
In the vestry of a New England church:
"Will the last person to leave please see that the perpetual light
is extinguished. "
In a Pennsylvania cemetery:
"Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own
graves. "
On a roller coaster:
"Watch your head. "
On the grounds of a public school:
"No trespassing without permission. "
On a Tennessee highway:
"When this sign is under water, this road is impassable. "
Similarly, in front of a New Hampshire car wash:
"If you can`t read this, it`s time to wash your car. "
And apparently, somewhere in England in an open field otherwise
untouched by human pri love you only" Valentine cards:
"Now available in multi-packs. "
In the window of a Kentucky appliance store:
"Don`t kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work. "
In a funeral parlor:
"Ask about our layaway plan. "
In a clothing store:
"Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks. "
In a Tacoma, Washington men`s clothing store:
"15 Men`s wool suits, $10. They won`t last an hour! "
On a shopping mall marquee:
"Archery Tournament -- Ears pierced"
Outside a country shop:
"We buy junk and sell antiques. "
In the window of an Oregon store:
"Why go elsewhere and be cheated when you can come here? "
In a Maine restaurant:
"Open 7 days a week and weekends. "
On a radiator repair garage:
"Best place to take a leak. "
In the vestry of a New England church:
"Will the last person to leave please see that the perpetual light
is extinguished. "
In a Pennsylvania cemetery:
"Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own
graves. "
On a roller coaster:
"Watch your head. "
On the grounds of a public school:
"No trespassing without permission. "
On a Tennessee highway:
"When this sign is under water, this road is impassable. "
Similarly, in front of a New Hampshire car wash:
"If you can`t read this, it`s time to wash your car. "
And apparently, somewhere in England in an open field otherwise
untouched by human presence, there is a sign that says,
"Do not throw stones at this sign. "
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