One day, a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in
despair, he has his first meeting with a demon:
Demon: Why so glum, chum?
Guy: What do you think? I`m in hell.
Demon: Hell`s not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down
here. You a drinkin` man?
Guy: Sure, I love to drink.
Demon: Well, you`re gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that`s
all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, diet
Tab. . . We drink till we throw up and then we drink some more.
Guy: Gee, that sounds great.
Demon: You a smoker?
Guy: You better believe it.
Demon: All right! You`re gonna love Tuesdays. We get the
finest cigars from around the world and smoke our friggin` lungs out.
If you get cancer, it`s okay. . . You`re already dead.
Guy: Golly!
Demon: I bet you like to gamble.
Guy: Yes, as a matter of fact I do.
Demon: Good, because Wednesday is gambling day. Craps,
blackjack, horse races, you name it. We even opened up a pai gow
poker table.
Guy: Gosh, I never played pai gow before. . .
Demon: Well now you can. You like to do drugs?
Guy: Yes, I love to do drugs. You don`t mean. . .
Demon: That`s right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a
great big bowl of crack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You
can do all the drugs you want, and if you overdose, it`s okay. . . You`re
already dead.
Guy: Neat! I never realized that hell was such a swingin` place!
Demon: You gay?
Guy: Uh, no.
Demon: Oooh, you`re gonna hate Fridays. . . .
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