25/03/2009

Costello and Abbott!

Costello: Hey, Abbott!
Abbott: Yes, Lou?
Costello: I just got my first computer.
Abbott: That`s great, Lou. What did you get?
Costello: A Pentium II-266, with 40 Megs of RAM, a 2.1 Gig hard drive, and a 24X CD-ROM.
Abbott: That`s terrific, Lou.

Costello: But I don`t know what any of it means!
Abbott: You will in time.

Costello: That`s exactly why I`m here to see you.
Abbott: Oh?
Costello: I heard that you`re a real computer expert.
Abbott: Well, I don`t know . . .

Costello: Yes-sir-ee. You know your stuff. And you`re going to train me.
Abbott: Really?
Costello: Uh huh. And I am here for my first lesson.
Abbott: O.K. Lou. What do want to know?
Costello: I am having no problem turning it on, but I heard that you should be very careful how you turn it off.
Abbott: That`s true.

Costello: So, here I am working on my new computer and I want to turn it off. What do I do?
Abbott: Well, first you press the Start button, and then . . .

Costello: No, I told you I want to turn it off.
Abbott: I know, you press the Start button . . .

Costello: Wait a second. I want to turn it Off. I know how to start it.
So tell me what to do.
Abbott: I did.

Costello: When?
Abbott: When I told you to press the Start button.

Costello: Why should I press the Start button?
Abbott: To shut off the computer.

Costello: I press Start to stop?
Abbott: Well, Start doesn`t actually stop the computer.

Costello: I knew it! So what do I press?
Abbott: Start.

Costello: Start what?
Abbott: Start button.

Costello: Start button to do what?
Abbott: Shut down.

Costello: You don`t have to get rude!
Abbott: No, no, no! That`s not what I meant.

Costello: Then say what you mean.
Abbott: To shut down the computer, press . . .

Costello: Don`t say, "Start!"
Abbott: Then what do you want me to say?
Costello: Look, if I want to turn off the computer, I am willing to press the Stop button, the End button and Cease and Desist button, but no one in their right mind presses the Start to Stop.
Abbott: But that`s what you do.

Costello: And you probably Go at Stop signs, and Stop at green lights.
Abbott: Don`t be ridiculous.

Costello: I`m being ridiculous? Well, I think it`s about time we started this conversation.
Abbott: What are you talking about?
Costello: I am starting this conversation right now. Good-bye.

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